The Nature of Growth Through Relationships
Relationships serve as catalysts for personal evolution, showing us pathways to becoming who we aspire to be. The fuel for this growth comes in many forms—joy, sorrow, conflict, and collaboration. Each experience offers lessons, and the more we embrace grace and acceptance, the more readily we learn, regardless of how these lessons arrive.
Understanding Inner Conflict as a Teacher
When we encounter conflict, whether internal or external, spiritual traditions teach us that this friction is necessary for raising our energy and stepping into an empowered version of ourselves. We must learn to handle our inner intensity—working with both fire and water within us—so we can process these energies without causing harm to ourselves or others.
Like fire, which can either destroy or nourish depending on how it’s used, we need spaces to express our experiences in ways that allow us to process them fully while honoring our authentic selves. This skill isn’t commonly taught; it develops as we reach a certain maturity and encounter others who have cultivated deeper self-honesty.
Finding Common Ground in Shared Struggles
We share a universal bond in recognizing that earthly life differs from our idealistic visions. Yet through this gap between expectation and reality, we learn to release attachment to transcendent ideals and bridge the divide between external circumstances and our inner wealth—that deep reservoir of satisfaction and joy that exists within us all.
When we bring this inner joy and enthusiasm to every experience, accepting what comes with gratitude and meeting each moment with courage, we feel a different energy flowing through us. This shift requires integrating new attitudes and beliefs into our daily lives.
The Practice of Forgiveness
Martin Luther King Jr., reflecting on Jesus’s teachings, highlighted the transformative power of repeated forgiveness. When Peter asked Jesus how many times to forgive—seven times?—Jesus replied “seventy times seven.” King understood this to mean that through practicing forgiveness 490 times, it becomes a habit, a way of life embodied rather than merely performed.
This practice prepares us to be less disturbed by external events. As Don Miguel Ruiz teaches in “The Four Agreements,” we learn not to take things personally and to always do our best. A Course in Miracles reminds us that “nothing real can threaten us; nothing unreal exists.” We often defend ourselves against imaginary threats created by our own minds.
Moving from Separation to Unity
Letting go of inner conflict means releasing the consciousness of separation—the illusion that we are isolated islands of awareness. True wholeness comes from returning to unity, moving from duality to non-duality. Like the yin-yang symbol, we learn that darkness contains light and light contains darkness, and their contrast creates the experience of both.
In this greater wholeness lies a deeper understanding of ultimate reality—something beautiful and beyond words, yet approachable through concepts like God, love, oneness, or infinity. Sometimes we simply need silence to allow what’s beyond words to be experienced.
Accessing Your Inner Nature
To embody this understanding, we must go beyond thoughts, body, and emotions to reach our core—that place always with us, like the center of a flower often hidden by its petals. When we access our inner nature, we see that all external aspects of our experience are like petals containing the flower’s essence. The deeper we go, the more we recognize the connection between temporary experiences and our eternal, unchanging essence.
This inner nectar—what Sanskrit calls amrita (divine nectar) or ananda (divine bliss)—belongs to each of us. It’s the spark of the universe that began smaller than an atom and now spans infinity, residing within every heart.
Liberation Through Self-Forgiveness
Releasing identities rooted in guilt, shame, judgment, and fear allows us to receive our wholeness and innocence. Even when these emotions arise temporarily, or when we carry generational patterns of conditioning, we can learn to let go of what doesn’t serve us. This truth sets us free.
Often, forgiving others requires first forgiving ourselves. Through this process, we return to life with joy, seeing our previous limitations as mere illusions. We rediscover childlike wonder and happiness, receiving life’s fullness without pretense.
The Paradox of Perfection
This doesn’t mean we become perfect humans, but we recognize the perfection that exists in everyone and everything. We see the paradox between our tangible reality and our vision for life, understanding that every moment is exactly what it needs to be.
These lessons come when we’re ready. We don’t need to rush or match anyone else’s pace. We can trust that these teachings are ours to receive in the right time and way, using pain as a message pointing toward positive change.
Creating New Patterns
Change often feels like redirecting enormous energy away from established patterns—like stepping off a superhighway onto an unmarked wilderness path. When the way forward seems unclear, we can look within and find that universal point of connection. There is light within us; we are light—a holy fire that, when not suppressed but worked with, flows and transforms naturally.
The Greater Self
This brings us to the question: Who am I? Spiritual and psychological traditions distinguish between the small self (ego) and the big self (soul). The big self is our connection point to everyone else, the higher self linked to the highest source of reality, present as the witness behind the small self.
The small self thinks thoughts; the big self observes them. Both aspects learn from each other in this fascinating dance of self-inquiry.
Living in Present Awareness
Through practices like meditation, coaching, or self-study, we can create changes within ourselves that expand into our interactions. This transformation feels both ancient and new, arising from our nature while bringing fresh awareness to each moment.
In this way, stepping into service and moving beyond self-involvement becomes a daily practice—a way to break free from self-created cycles of misery and discover who we truly are beneath all our roles and identities.
Light Being ॐ 
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